I am is a mini album which I made last year, for a totally different purpose to what it ended up being. It is a lovely set of of designer papers from Heidi Swapp. I liked the fresh colours and the neat design of the papers and so I got the 12 ins by 12 ins as well as the 6 ins by 6 ins paper stacks. There were some lovely embellishments that went with the collections too and I especially liked the stickers which made journaling such a breeze and delight to work with. This is how it turned out and I was planning to do a mini story of me with the album. Then something happened which changed the whole course of what this album ended up being. This is how the album looked initially.
After only just completing the mini album, I get a frantic call from a close relative that my sister has been diagnosed with cancer and I packed my bags immediately and left Sweden to be with her. What followed was months of agony and sorrow. I am sure that there are many of you who are in the same boat too. However, each experience is unique and to cut a long story short she passed away after only four months of chemotherapy. I was away for at least five months and I missed not being able to scrap. I had a journal with me and I did my best to write whenever I felt I wanted to. Looking back, I wish I did just that. I wrote too little of what took place and relying on your memory is not always good as memory fades and the intense feelings of that particular moment never comes back in the same way. However, I took photos and lots of them for which I am so grateful now. They are all I have as reminders of what we went through together during those four hectic, intensive months. It was filled with joy, sorrow and suffering at the same time. Joy because she and I felt good to be able to be together and we probably would never have done so otherwise. I was there for her and be with her during her fight. The doctors and nurses were so helpful and kind as well . It was a real joy to see how the consultants had so much empathy for their patients and really cared for each one of them. They took their time to be there for them even when they had a tough schedule ahead. It is a joy to know that relatives and friends really cared for her and visited her regularly in hospital and at home. They helped us to go through the suffering together. It was a joy knowing that all these lovely people cared so much for us. I hope that I will be able to do same for them one day when they need someone to hold to hold their hand.
I have learned not to take things for granted anymore and am trying to spread the message to my children most of all. Life is short whichever way you choose to look at it. It also gives me joy to know that my sister always made an effort to make the most of the moment and enjoy life. So even if she had a rather short life dying two weeks before she turned 60, she lived it to the full. I do not think that she had any regrets about the way she lived her life. She would probably continue doing the same if she was alive today. For that I am so grateful for. I decided to dedicate the I AM to my sister Regina and I get great joy in recounting some of the highlights of our lives together.
Thank you so much for your company and don’t forget to live in the ‘now’ and cherish it. Thank you for your visit.